I've alwaaaays wanted a sweet moo-moo cow! An obedient little farm pet would be ADORABLE. YOU can be my cow! You're already big and stupid. HOW CUTE! Can you moo for me, noodle? MOO LOUD! Awwww. Does the barnyard bitch need a milking? Mmm, I bet you do. Grab your udder and show me how a good pet milks himself. That's right, stroke that teat. Such a good boy. I'll be your bossy-britches farmgirl clown gal and instruct you on EXACTLY how a good pet needs to behave.
